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 The Land of Gandor

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[Admin]Beshio
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PostSubject: The Land of Gandor   Tue Oct 12, 2010 5:40 pm

THE LAND OF GANDOR


Long ago, where magical creatures and humans live together, a traitor of the country has risen for power and greed. Now, one person and his fellow rebellions will rebel against the dictatorship of the evil king

Chapter 1.
The Encounter of the Beast

"Acuto, where are you going now," barked his mother, "It is getting cold outside, come in here and stay near the fire"
"Mother, I am just going on to explore this place. You know it never snowed in Gandor here before when King Gara had reigned. I promise not to go far, I'll even let Piccolo to tag along if you want."
"Already dear, just come back before midnight" (will do mother!)
"Aw, ain't thar sweet for thar sor tor gor sar byar," mocked Piccolo.
"Shut up you midget!"
They walked silently in the soft embedded snow that looked as pure and sparkling as diamonds. The small crunch noises can be heard from the boots and small huffs from Piccolo the dwarf. As they walked, Acuto thought about his never seen father. He had heard many stories about how he was on a merchant trip to trade with the centaurs that lived in the Land of the Luminoso also known as the Land of the Bright and have died in the fierce storm. No one had survived from the boat. Shuddered and wishes to get rid of the demented thought, Acuto started to hum to himself and looking around the forest and listening to Piccolo's grunts now. Acuto faced downward to look upon Piccolo when he saw that Piccolo was holding the grip of his 2 custom made daggers. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant beast has charged out of the trees and into the pairs. Acuto was able to react quicker due to him being an elf and human thus bringing him the speed of an elf but the intelligence of a human. Knowing clearly well dwarves are only able to move quickly at underground, he pushed Piccolo and himself away from the charging creature. Acuto forcibly yanked one of Piccolo's dagger and thrust it at its eye. The beast let out a huge roar and rampaged around the snow as it is blind from the sharp blades deep into the eye and managing to cut open its pea size brain. Piccolo grabbed Acuto and took a bucketful of snow into his mouth and hand and pushed deep into the ground. As Acuto gags from the snow, Piccolo shouted out, "Hold on tight to my hand!" and unhinged his mouth which soon turned into something so big, even the blinded beast which Acuto found out as he was dragged down the snow was an Org. As soon as Piccolo believed was a great distance from the Org, he resurfaced the earth and sat down silently.
"Piccolo, remind me to smack you in the head. Give me a sign before doing that again!"
"And let you die? Lets go back to your mother and report this."
Sprinting down the forest, they do not know that the Land of Gandor is being attacked.

Chapter 2
The Rise of King Spavaldo

As Acuto and Piccolo runs back to where Acuto's mother has told him to come, they heard screaming and shouting. Shocked, they ran even faster only to find the once beautiful land to be burning down to the waves of flames. In the air, Acuto can make out the glistening red and black armor that was worn by the unknown attacker and its dragon. Acuto heard its commands which rang into his ears loud and clear.
"Burn this damned land. I will rebuild this pathetic country my foolish brother has used. Where is that sniveling creature now, Fight me oh brother, Fight your brother which you have cast away!"

Trying to ignore the ringing shrieks and cries, Acuto and Piccolo runs to find his mother. On the street lays dead humans, dwarves, elves, centaurs. They were burnt alive, impaled by gargoyle's spears, axed into pieces by orgs and crushed by trolls. Acuto watches in horror as he finds his mother laying the ground screaming for mercy as a menacing troll is approaching her, club high in the air about to strike. Acuto screams out loud at the troll but the troll ignores him as it brings down the club down into his mother killing her instantly. Both Piccolo and Acuto filled with rage, they run up to the troll as Acuto stabs it with a dead blacksmith's package which is a silver blade rapier. Piccolo however tries to stab the troll in the back while spitting out venom of hatreds. The troll shrieks in anguish and is silenced by a grunt as Piccolo stabs the in the left and slashing nearly all the way. When the troll fell, Acuto runs to his crushed mother sobbing.
"Why mother, why!"
Gently, Piccolo pulls him away and they gave a prayer to her soul before trying to think of finding a way to leave this country. As they run looking for an horse or mule to run away on, they hear the wretched calls from the men above.
"I, King Spavaldo, will rule this land and you all as my minions and slave!"
King Spavaldo then screams maniacally and dashes below killing off any creatures in its path.

Chapter 3
The Escape
"Holy ****, how are we going to get out of here! No animals to use to escape. What are we to do Piccolo?"
"Hold on, I hear something"
*faint murmur*
"So are we supposed to kill of anyone that are not freaking scary and huge?"
"Basically, I hope the God of Lume will forgive us for turning back on our own race upon humanity."
Unable to hold his rage, Piccolo crouches and leaps upon one of the guards. As the other guard was held in surprise, the unlucky one let out a blood curling ripple shriek. Before the injured guard had been able to inhale another breathe, Acuto swiftly and rapidly stabbed the guard in the neck causing a moment of paralyzed shake. However, the other guard was able to rummage out his sword near his hip and cut Piccolo right in his left wing shoulder. As Piccolo grimace in pain, he removes the blade which is glistening with dark and pure red blood, falls down to the ground trying to move his left arm. As the guard approaches to Piccolo and seems to forgotten about Acuto's presences, Acuto manages to grab the guard's shoulder and decapitating it. The guard swiftly turns around waving his blade slowly at Acuto but Acuto was to fast and had an advantage of having two arms, he blocked the blade with the rapier and forcefully shoved his fist down the guard's unprotected face. Then quickly jabbing the rapier down his heart would be. The guard shuddered violently before becoming still. As Acuto turns to look at Piccolo, he sees that the dwarf was not moving. He ran near it only to see that Piccolo's eyes were turning brown. Acuto knew what this meant and began crying. As he cried, Piccolo's body turned into the finest dirt leaving the clothing he wore behind. Sadly, Acuto spoke out, "Piccolo, why did you abandon me too. Why!" As Acuto gave his prayers, he found out that the northern gate was opened to the lands beyond here. Without caring if he is seen or not, he runs and runs out to the blazed grass and the grittle of sand.

Chapter 4
Encountered
It has been a long journey since Acuto has ran away from the land that is burnt to the ground. Even when the blazing heat of the sun is striking him down, Acuto felt cold inside. Sadness has warped his mind and had made him depressed, furious, guilty, and made him feel what he was not. The lack of water and supply of food had tolls onto the hybrid as it reduced his lack of coordination, ability to walk straight, and others. He wandered around the desert not knowing whether he was walking in a circle or is just walking towards death. Suddenly, Acuto gasped, he saw an oasis that appeared to be a bit distant away from him. Unable to calm himself down, he hysterically ran toward the oasis falling and gasping for a drop of water. As he ran however, the oasis did not appear to grow closer but appeared to be in a same distance away. As Acuto ran with all his might, he let out his final gasp before dropping down to the hollow grains of sand and its whispering winds. As the wind whispered, far away, a sand rider seemed to seen what was taken in place. On his camel, he spoke out in a rasp voice, "My dear camel, shall we go and aid the fallen or return back to the village of Persiana" The camel seems to grunt and nudged the rider. The rider chuckled and coughing and led the camel to Acuto's direction. When the rider met him, Acuto was unconscious and had breathe in such a faint sound. The rider tossed him on the camel, dripping water into Acuto's dry cracked lips and headed on in the endless sand.

As cold water was splashed across the elf, he faintly heard giggles of little elves and opened his eyes in a slit. He made out 3 shadows that appeared to look at him curiously. Another bucket was splashed before Acuto has managed to give out a noise making the little elves scream in joy. One of the adult elf had kneel and whispered him to change and come out when he was ready. Acuto barely managed to give them a nod. As Acuto pushed away the tent's flap, he saw that there were not many people in this village. Many elves that were on there business was staring at Acuto with an expression very hard to read. As Acuto tries to swallow, he feels a sharp pain in his adam's apple. He looks to the right and sees that a hooded person was in his way. The hood spoke,"Do you not thank the on that has saved your life?". Acuto was surprised and recoiled when he heard him saying in a quiver voice, "W-w-what do you mean save my life?" The hooded person muttered to himself unintelligibly and then said, "You are suffering from the heat of the sun. Your not a full breed elf so you might not be able to withstand the heat. Please follow me" Then silently turns around and walks quickly to a cave like entrance and ducked under it and saw that it was a very huge tent. In the tent, he saw a huge warrior elf with a huge battle axe resting upon his shoulder. "So this is the one we have taken under out wings," boomed out the warrior. As he chuckled to himself, Acuto grinds his teeth with rage. "Relax young one, we need you in our rebellion against that bastard King Spavaldo. Do you know what Spavaldo means young one?"

Acuto tilted his head in a quizzical expression. "Spavaldo means aggression young one. He is very dangerous for his aggression and passion to win and defeat all. He had already enslaved many humans, elves, and other creatures. All the dwarves had been wiped out in the land he had conquered causing extinction" When he had said the word extinction, Acuto fell to his ground his hands curling into fists. The warrior spoke out gently, "What is wrong?". "Nothing," murmured Acuto quietly. Acuto and the warrior stood up when an elf had came in from the enterance screaming out, "ENEMIES ARE ATTACKING US AT EVERY CORNER EROE!"

Chapter 5
Battle of Dolore
As soon as the elf has spoken, a hiss sound came out and an arrow had pierced his leg. Screaming, the poisoned tip has taken effect and spreads around his body. The elf became still and then fell. Acuto, Edoe, and a group of archers has came out of the tent to see chaos. The Rebels were fighting against many different creatures from ground and sky. Gargoyles, Orgs, Trolls, Pythons, Undeads, and others are coming at the sides. Edoe was already in action when Acuto turned around. Edoe striked down a unlucky scorpion and its inside fillings dropped out. Distracted, he was unaware of a troll creeping up at him. When he heard the roar, Acuto turned around and recoiled from his fate. But then he heard 3 bowstrings vibrating as the arrows were pierced into the troll. The troll let out a cry of terror as the elves were surround it sending a mass horde of arrows. Acuto got back on his feet and ran to an elf that has been slain. Acuto took the grip of the rapier and adjusted it in an angle where he can penetrate the thick skin of an org. As the org turned, the rapier was thrust and the blade pierced into the back of the org's spine. Filled with pain, the org blindly smacked Acuto an 2 gargoyles that were trying to spear Acuto down. Acuto was smashed into a scorpion's body and quickly before being stabbed by its sting, grabbed the sting and jabbed the sting into the scorpion's own body. The liquid of the venom and sharpness of its sting had killed the scorpion instantly. As Acuto tries to run, he was stopped by the hooded rider who took Acuto's hand and put an scimitar. As he wield it, he heard Odoe screaming, "Behind you!", and swirled while letting the blade of the scimitar be free to its own dance. Acuto thrust, slashed, stabbed the victim as others watched in awe stopping the battle for a mere moment. This gave the elves the time to strike down the opponents and doing so. As the last of the trolls were slain, the orgs retreated, the gargoyle flew away. But the scorpions did not flee. One of them, apparently the leader was tapping his sting to the ground before being shot down by 2 elves near a rock. The other remainders of the scorpions too were shot down by arrows. Just before the elves were about to cheer, a great rumbling was at sound below. Acuto, who never felt this was frightened and stood still as other elves were running away from the sound. Odoe was trying to locate the sound only to find Acuto being right above where the great quicksand was taking in place. Odoe ran as fast as he could and grabbed Acuto's arm which were flailing and tried to pull. Acuto, was now thinking straight was panicking and squirming. Odoe screamed, "Don't MOVE! Your going to sink faster if you do. Listen to me. When I say thrust your leg, Thrust it! Alright, ready.... Thrust your leg!" Odoe gave a huge tug while Acuto was flailing his legs to move. As they repeated the process once more, Acuto finally was out of the quicksand. Under the quicksand, came out a huge scorpion. Its claws were snapping and had already snapped two of the elves near the rock in halves in such mere amount of time.

"Everyone, fire your arrows at the creature, " commanded Odoe who dragged Acuto to the side. As his commands were set free, all the elves shot the arrows at the scorpion. However, the scorpion's hard exoskeleton body and it being reinforced by a crimson blood armor, the arrows were merely sticks to a rock. Odoe grabbed his battleaxe and charged at the scorpion. When the blade of the axe has met the armor, the armor was only scratched. Cursing, Odoe tries to slash open any weak spot of the armor as the other elves were still shooting. The scorpion does not seem to mind the ruckas and is only stabbing elves in the heart like stakes with its stings. While this was going on, Acuto was spilling out of oils used to fuel fire around the scorpion.
"Odoe, tell your men to set these oil into flames!"

But it appeared that Odoe was too busy trying to break open the armor that he didn't listen. However, Rider did. "Clever idea, " remarked Rider, "I will be right back." As if the sands has envelope him, Rider was gone. As Acuto was waiting, Rider immediately came back with a torch and tossed it. Before the ring of oil was set into flames, Acuto managed to shriek out Odoe to get away from the scorpions. Odoe looked at Acuto to tell him that he is almost finished cracking a fragrance of the armor when he saw only flames. Looking for an exit, Odoe turns and finds that the flame is surrounding it. He heard Acuto screaming to get out. Odoe rammed himself out of the barrier of flames and was surprised to see Rider splashing water. He looked upon himself and saw that he was set aflame. Odoe congratulated Acuto and all the others and said that there will be a meeting at moon rise.

Chapter 6
The Plan
Acuto was startled by an awake. He tried to get up but someone in the shadow was holding him down. Acuto tried to say something but muffle noise was coming out. "Quiet fool, its me. You are beyond late. Pack up your belongings that were supplied to you before and come meet me at the Edoe's place. Silently, Rider left stalking the night. Acuto dressed up and managed to pick up his small belongings. Wondering where they were going, Acuto went to Odoe's tent. Gathered around a sweet and warm fire, the rebels look very tired. Acuto tried to stay awake by counting how many elves are here including himself. Only 24, thought Acuto. "Gather around! We are going on a journey," said Odoe, "We have been attacked at too many times in such a short period of time. We are going to the Land of Luminoso. They will take refuge and help us at these times. Let us go while it is at night. The blackness will be our shadow." Grunting, Acuto stands and follows the pack. Land of Luminoso...Luminoso...

Chapter 7
The Land of Luminoso
As the group of elves traveled through the sea and land, Acuto was able to make a few friends. Many days later, the moon shines daringly upon the deadly night. But another light has been flicking upon Acuto. He had been able to see a bright shine from the marvelous town of Luminoso. As they walked, Acuto heard Odoe barely speaking out, "The land of Luminoso." Then stopping and turning back to the group, Odoe replied, " We have nearly arrived to our destination." As they resume walking in a slow pace, the elves watched in aw. Soon when they reached the land of Luminoso, they saw 2 centaur guards. They asked what was there bidding and Odoe replied in a tone of gratefulness that he had sent a hawk to give out a message to the ruler of this land. Just after he had spoken, a hawk had came down from the shadows and into Odoe's shoulder and resting. The centuars looked quizzical at each other then nodded and pushed the gates. As the gates were opened, Acuto can see the life of joy in the land. He saw young centaurs playing, gnomes playing some kind of game. As the group walks, they hear the annoyance in a gnome's voice arguing with the others. Suddenly a halt was made by Odoe. He twirled around to speak to the elves. "We need a place to sleep and eat. But before we do that, let us go and thank the ruler of this land for letting us in." When he stopped speaking, he began leading the way again. Soon, the group was facing a beautiful palace plated with knowledge quotes and bright gold. Upon the entrance was a huge statue of what seems to be the King of Luminoso. He looked kind yet determined beast. Odoe, however does not seem to mind all these wonders and walks straight into the palace. In the palace was filled with many servants that appeared to be enjoying their work here. Odoe asked a servant where the ruler might be and go the direction. The servant led him to the room that was dark and had torches that were very low on fuel. Suddenly, the ball of flame had replaced such weak torches with fresh amount of fuels. "Welcome Odoe and your fellow followers, to Land of the Luminoso."

Chapter 8
Welcome to the Underworld
The voice came out of the bleak darkness of a hollow room in the middle. Odoe laughed and said, "Come out you dog, welcome us properly!" The centaur came out looking upon the elves with curiosity and then closed his eye. "One of you will die before the end of the day when the moon is waxing the earth with its brightness." Shaking his head, he looks upon Acuto. Then, suddenly, Acuto felt a sharp pain from the eyes that pierced right through Acuto. Screaming from the pain Acuto fell to the ground, pounding the floor and spitting out blood.
"What is going on! Segno, do not hurt this one!," roared out Odoe.
"I was merely studying him when he fell," replied Segno.
Grunting, Odoe picks up Acuto and said, "Find us a place to give him a place to rest. Bring some of your centaur scholars. We need to find out what is happening! Acuto hang on!...

Acuto was breathing hard trying to fight for his life. He tried to breathe but gagged upon his blood and spit the blood out. He looked to his left and saw blood all around him splattered. Acuto tried to scream but he couldn't intake enough oxygen. His vision got blurred and he shuddered and stayed still. Out of the land, the Moon was waxing the grasses in the west.

Acuto woke up feeling no pain and looked around. He saw flaming pillars and burning combs of the undead. He stood up and looked upon the ground. It appeared to be that lava was bursting bubbles and engulfing the screaming people in the sea of the flame. Acuto walked pass the broken skeletons and dead bodies tossed clumsily to the sides. Acuto was looking around aimlessly and kept on walking. After a while, he saw through the heat waves a throne. He ran upon it and tripped from a rib and crashing below. As he fell, he spits out the dirt and looks up at where the throne was and saw a devil sitting upon the throne looking below at him. As the Devil stands, Acuto hears the loud voice of the creature, "Welcome Acuto, to the Underworld."

Preview:
Dancing with the Devil


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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Tue Oct 12, 2010 5:41 pm

Reserved for future use
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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Tue Oct 12, 2010 5:41 pm

News

10.11.10-Created the story
10.11.10 Created 6 Chapters
10.11.10-Added Main Characters
10.12.10-Added 1 chapter
10.12.10-Created News Section
10.14.10-Updated the story with 1 chapter
10.14.10-Deciding whether to create a sequel
10.14.10-Fixed some grammar errors.
10.14.10-Updated the Important Characters in the story
10.14.10-Added Finish-O-Meter for those that wishes to know how much I have completed


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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Tue Oct 12, 2010 5:41 pm

Important Characters in the story:
Acuto-The main character that is half elf and human. He is very intelligent and very aggressive towards those that tries to kill a friend or family member of his. He is known well as the Devil's Reaper in the future story.
Mother- Acuto's mother that is a pure elf and had married to a human. Died at Chapter 1
Father- Unknown past that has never been revealed to Acuto. Found out to be dead at Chapter 1
Piccolo- A fierce dwarf that likes to tease Acuto but cares for him dearly. He was specialized with dual wielding. Died in Chapter 3
King Gara- A kind king that had been reigning over the Land of Gandor. Died at Chapter 2
King Spavaldo- A maniac king that has the passion of the dragon and willing to kill off everything to obtain what he wants.
Warrior Edoe- A huge warrior elf that is skilled with his battleaxe. He is the leader of the Village of Sabbia.
Rider- Never told his name to anyone, he had saved Acuto's life. Acuto desperately seeks to know his real name. But Rider only just smacks Acuto's head and disapproves his thirst of idiotic knowledge.
King Segno- A wise centaur that is kind to elves and has a mysterious personality. He is the ruler of Luminoso
Devil-???

More characters to be added!


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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:08 pm

thank me for this. I wrote it Smile
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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Wed Oct 13, 2010 4:12 am

Wow.. Very nice.. Done Pressing THANKS! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Wed Oct 13, 2010 5:35 pm

not even close to finish. -.- XD
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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:15 pm

UPDATED! Smile Added useful things
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PostSubject: Re: The Land of Gandor   Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:16 pm

But I will not add the Finish-O-Meter. It is inaccurate but I do not want to post here. If you want to see the Original post of these things, click this--> http://cheetocommunity.xsjefkex.com/forum/index.php?topic=3780.0
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